Helsing
Curdy Clammerwood (Voiced by Jeff)
I grew up in the small town of Wicker, Delaware and learned more in six short years with my dad than I did in my thirteen years of public school. I’m not complaining though, I have always had a job and friends and a place to lay my head at night, so I consider myself one of the lucky ones. This podcast is the strangest, most bizarre, totally twisted, beautiful road I have ever ventured down and I cannot wait to share the journey with all of you. Thanks for being here and to all you quirky, funny, bright and cheery weirdos out there, welcome to the family!
Sheriff Marshal (Voiced by Jeff)
I have been Sheriff of Worcestershire County for almost my whole life and King of the Bowling Championship every year I entered. My job, my hobbies and my family have filled my life with pleasures unmatched and my biggest joy is my grandson, Balen. He is meant for big things. I only hope I have prepared him for such. Strange things happen, you have to be ready.
Joe (Voiced by Jase)
A young man who would do anything for his sister, he has a touching story of how he lost his sister and mother as a boy and his journey to find them. Are the croutons a key to their disappearance?
Niki
Joe’s sister and best friend, Niki is a very driven young woman with her own set of objective
Querissa Meethis (Voiced by Patsy)
I am a born skeptic from beautiful southern California. I knew early on that my purpose in life is to reveal truth to the world. My mom and dad expect me to visit for the holidays but otherwise let me live my life as I see fit. That works for me too. I hang out with a few good friends and love tacos. I would never have thought I would be part of this crazy, mind-warping happening, but hey, you go where you gotta go, do what you gotta do, right?!
Vera the Aloe (Voiced by Patsy)
Yes, I am plant-based. What can I say, I have always defied expectations. I am a loyal friend and really caring companion. I tire easily of uninspired oxygen breathers, and please keep your dogs on a leash, but I do find cats charming. I love the water, bright sunshine and Rasta music. I think I am a great judge of character and never color my roots
Mr Nope-Not-Yet (Voiced by Jeff)
I am Space Croutons’ mysterious benefactor. When the time is right, I will reveal more, but for now, suffice it to say, I’ know what I know and not matter what happens, I’ve got your back!
Bent (Robert Blue)
My world has always been small, and that’s okay by me. I have work, I have friends, I have a basically happy existence. Is it lacking excitement? Well, it was… but now, I guess I’m making up for lost time, right? Good thing is, Bug is by my side.
Bug (Robert Oxeter)
Athletic, creative, fun-loving and a great sense of humor. Boy, this sounds like one of those dating apps, doesn’t it? Well, I am always open to meeting someone fun, but they have to be okay with me spending time with my best bud, Bent. Especially now, with what’s going on, which I don’t really understand yet, but Bent says we’ll figure it out together.
Mrs. Latch
I met the Roberts when they were ten and knew then that they would be the ones I needed to take my place. I hope I was right. And by the way, teachers rock! Even the ones who are not quite human.
Coach Keystairs
I am what my maker made me. Soldier, explorer, seeker and yes, even coach, all rolled into one. Is there a way to separate the good guys from the bad guys? Of course, but what it comes down to is what you know and whose side you’re on. Even when all the facts are known, the rest is subjective. We all will be judged.
Gil Gherkin (Voiced by Jerry)
I was born in Minnesota, but the family moved to Virginia when I was three, so all my memories are there. My daughter Serendipity was born there, I met and married my late wife there. My job was all about our town there. Of course I love to travel, or at least I did up until my retirement trip to England with Sere, but that goes without saying. Would I rather lead a nice quiet life? Yes. Will I do what I can to help us all to get past this? Absolutely.
Serendipity Gherkin (Voiced by Jenna)
If you read my dad’s bio, you know I’m a Virginian, but before all this, it was all I knew. There is a great big wild world out there and based on everything I’m seeing now, there is even more of something out there beyond that. Limits, borders, expectations are being shattered right here, right now and it has already blown my mind.
Balan Chaney (Voiced by Jeff)
Hey there, I am a singer-songwriter and all around laidback guy. My guitar is my passion and I would give almost anything to have a successful music career. Folks ask me how I write songs, and I tell them I can’t explain it; I don’t think I even really want to. I love the music but I love people more. They are what bring the songs into my head and my heart. No more explanations needed.
Dat (Voiced by John)
Football player turned Computer Analyst, Dat is on a mission to discover the meaning of a group of symbols that started showing up in his work in late 1999. He has a knack for seeing how things really work. Computer systems, business processes, and even people all have patterns
Jaxon
He wakes up one morning with a series of cryptic symbols on his face and no memory of how it happened. Really, all he wanted was to meet his friends for brunch
Hosie
A tattoo artist and Jaxon’s friend. He helps Jaxon try to figure out what is going on with those cryptic markings on Jaxon’s face.
SALI
The AI assistant for the podcast “Space Croutons”, SALI has a mission to learn everything about everything. And, oh yeah, she loves jokes.
Dandi Lyon
She is a champion bowler who just shows up one day in Wicker and then even more quickly is gone. More about her later.
Sunglasses Guy (Flint)
Dandi’s companion, he carries a metal briefcase and says nothing, making him a real man of action. More about him later.
Golie
A Dry Cleaner who wants to be a magician, he is an eternal optimist who likes surprises. Well, most of the time
Iza
Married to Golie, she manages the Dry Cleaners and supports Golie in his impulsive ideas.