Episode 1: “Welcome to Thunder Gnome” – Sponsored by You Bet Your Life, Really!
When is a game show, not a game show? That’s easy! It’s when you’re playing for keeps! That’s right everyone, introducing the new quiz show taking the world by storm – like a blizzard – or a hurricane! It’s the show where your life’s on the line! And what do we call it? Oh sorry, you missed it! We call our show, “You Bet Your Life, Really!” and that’s just what you’ll do! And the rules are simple. You answer life’s toughest questions! And you get how many tries? Oh sorry, you missed again! The answer is three! One more miss and you know what happens? Oh sorry, you lose! Join us each week as our unsuspecting contestants play for real, “You Bet Your Life, Really!” – A Benefactor’s Reality Television Production.
Episode 2: “The Jersey Devil” – Sponsored by Ms. Rat Band
Trapped in a maze? Not sure which turn to take. Does this strike a note? Then Ms Rat Band is the game show for you. Race against other contestants, race against time, race against that insatiable need for food or to escape your imprisonment. Whatever the reason, Ms Rat Band will fill that void. Just like a full measure rest between two forte measures of cymbal crashes and orchestrational swells, Ms Rat Band is full of moments when you don’t know which way to turn, or what is next. Ms Rat Band, simply enter the maze and pick up instruments on your way to the center stage and your musical debut. Critics and would-be fans alike, wait on your arrival in hopes of a concert unmatched since Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour. Travel the maze of the music industry with the promise of stardom waiting for you. Ms Rat Band, the first game show (besides American Idol, America’s Got Talent, and the Voice) where the winner gets the show biz contract of a lifetime. MRB, look for us coming to a labyrinth near you.
Episode 3: “The Diner Cornucopious” – Sponsored by Are You Smarter Than Your Clone?!
When is a Game show not just a Game show? When it’s a Reality show, of course! And when is a Reality show not just a Reality show? When it’s a Game show, of course! And thanks to BTN, that’s the Benefactor’s Television Network, we are bringing you the best of both! Premiering next week, our new competition series: “Are You Smarter Than Your Clone?!” That’s right, we clone you to create a panel of five yous that you then compete against to prove you are the smartest, to win life changing cash and prizes! We’ll pay off your house and car. We’ll give you a big raise at your job, arrange a divorce if needed and sign you up to our exclusive dating app filled with billionaires only! And if you lose to one of your clones? Well, we put you out to pasture and they get to take over your life which with them being smarter will make things better for everyone! So, join us starting next week for the game show where you play against the perfect opponents – you! “Are You Smarter Than Your Clone?!” Thanks BTN, you’ve done it again!
Episode 4: “The Jersey Devil Pt2” – Sponsored by Don’t Break the Ice
Welcome to the Wild World of Sports’ presentation of “Don’t Break the Ice”. The only show filmed on, and sometimes under, the frozen top layer of Lake Minnetonka in Hennepin county, Minnesota. 113 feet deep and yes, quite cold, Lake Minnetonka serves as our playing field for this winter’s new breakout game show, Don’t Break the Ice. You would think the top layer of ice on Lake Minnetonka would be thick enough to cross in the middle of winter, but for the sake of the show, you will race a Zamboni across the ice. And when I say race, I mean it will be chasing you. After all, what is the worst that can happen? Apply now. We have openings for runners and Zamboni drivers. “Don’t Break the Ice”. Look for it on a station near you.
Episode 5: “Old Carols, New Tricks” – Sponsored by The Lite Brite Great American Holiday Lite on!
Announcing “The Lite Brite Great American Holiday Lite On!”, where contestants compete to see who can decorate their quarter acre lot with the most creative light designs. But for our competition, you use only Lite Brite pegs. And not just any Lite Brite pegs, but the 6 feet tall versions you can only special order from us. ‘6 feet tall’, you say? Absolutely! It will be a forest of tree sized pegs, but trust me, everyone will see them when you flip the switch! Our contestants are scored in several categories. Including…Most pegs used – A no brainer. Overall brightness of the presentation – Of course. Can it be seen from space? Our experts on the International Space Station will measure the brightness. Power consumption – If you aren’t causing a brownout, you aren’t even trying. Originality – Creating your own Lite Brite template could be the hardest part. So many holes. And where do I find the right size and type of tarp to use? You can special order it from us. And… Neighborhood reaction. What do your neighbors think? How many restraining orders have been issued to get you to stop? Lite-Brite Great American Holiday Lite On, the only game show that combines creativity, science, blatant consumerism, and the sheer disregard of others to ever be filmed totally in the dark. Disclaimer: Do you like to compete when it comes to holiday decorations? Have you emptied the local big box home improvement store of every light string on the shelves? Has the local power company had to make trunk upgrades to your power grid? Have the local authorities served you with cease and desist orders? Have your neighbors put blackout curtains on their windows facing your house? Then this is the competition for you. Simply convert your yard into a giant Lite Brite light box and share your creation. …adult supervision combined with a childlike wonder is required.
Beckett Industries is proud to announce our newest product line. Now you can order your familiar and most favorite foods, packed and preserved for you in one of our handy time travel proof picnic baskets. That’s right, with Beckett’s basket you need never go hungry even when far from home. Our deluxe trip basket comes with the foods of your choice all guaranteed to pass through the portals tax free and just as fresh as if you had just made it at home. Through our top secret patented process, your food stays fresh for the duration of your trip and comes with refills as needed. You can order your basket filled for one week, two weeks or as many days as you need. Your time travel experience is so much more enjoyable not to mention convenient if you can eat the foods you prefer. Never get stuck with Quell grub fish again or Mallet stink weed mash when you can bring along your fully customizable Beckett’s Basket with your favorite food choices prepared to your specifications. Prices vary with food selections and the number of days you will be traveling. There is an added service charge for people traveling to the so-called Evil Eye galaxy, but we know you will be thrilled with your selection of Beckett’s Baskets for your next time travel excursion. Beckett Industries, striving to serve all of your time travel needs. We look forward to serving you. Happy time travels.
Episode 7: “Feud DeFamilia” – Sponsored by Mr Microphone
A blast from the past, this is a rebroadcast of the original Mr Microphone commercial as seen on TVs in the US in the 1970s.
Episode 8: “Night of the Grampire” – Sponsored by Drill or No Drill
Looking for a game you can sink your teeth into? – “Drill or No Drill!” How about a quiz that could leave you impacted? “Drill or No Drill!” And what about a lightning round that has losers leaving the studio with a plaque all around their gum line? “Drill or No Drill!” That’s right, the first game show where your dental insurance does not guarantee that you’ll go home with a smile! On Drill or No Drill, contestants take their place in the chair, answering questions like: “What kind of wood were George Washington’s dentures made of? “Umm… Cherrywood?” “Sorry, but you either lose a molar, or get a crown! Which will it be? Drill or No Drill?”
4 out of 5 dentists recommend “Drill or No Drill” to their patients who still have their wisdom teeth. The use of Novocaine, Laughing Gas or just a ball peen hammer to the noggin is optional and at the discretion of some overworked hygienist with masochistic tendencies. “Drill or No Drill” is not publicly sanctioned by the American Dental Association but is a favorite of the National Hockey League. “Drill or No Drill” – a production of the Benefactor Television Network
Episode 9: “The Breaking News” – Sponsored by Hollywood Chers
From Television City in Hollywood, let’s play some Hollywood Chers with Cher Impersonators: Dark Lady, Foxy Lady, and Our Lady of San Francisco. And where else will you find her nom de plumes, Cherilyn Sarkisian, Cheryl LaPiere, and Bonnie Jo Mason. But wait there’s more. Introducing our Movie Chers: Tess, Loretta, and Rusty Dennis. With special appearances by Greg Allman. And I am your host, Sonny. Hollywood Chers is your basic game of Tic Tac Toe, but with a twist. All answers must be in the form of a lyric from one of Cher’s songs, lines from one of her movies, or quotes from her personal life. For 10 points, What did Cher write in her last Christmas card to Greg Allman? No matter how hard I try, you keep pushing me aside. I can’t break through, there is no talking to you… For 20 points, how would Cher fix her mistake? If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that’ve hurt you And you’d stay For 100 points, and the win, Where was Cher born? She was born in the wagon of a traveling show Her mama had to dance for the money they’d throw Grandpa’d do whatever he could Preach a little gospel Sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good Hollywood Chers premiers on Valentines Day, and is streaming anywhere Cher is loved. Hollywood Chers is a production of the Sonny and Cher Communications Network. It is not affiliated with Cher herself.
Episode 9: “The Breaking News” – Sponsored by the 2025 Superhero Olympics
Jason Bateman Communications presents the 2025 Superhero Olympics. Set just outside of Atlanta and frequently using Peachtree Street for event locations, this is the only game show where the contestants compete against Marvel superheroes and their sidekicks while being chased by zombies from the Walking Dead. Hosted by Jason Bateman, contestants compete in events like Red Rover, Hide and Seek, Walk the Plank, Red Belly, I Expect You to Blow up, Submarine, and the ever popular, Don’t Break the Ice. To advance, the contestants must defeat their superhero knowing that at any moment a zombie may appear and the chase begins. If caught by the zombie, an infinity stone is attached to their gauntlet. Once the gauntlet reaches 5 stones, they disappear. For the finale, contestants must survive the Highlander round, where “There can be only one”. So join us as your accountant battles Iron Man in a game of Truth or Dare, then watch as your 7th grade history teacher battles Black Widow in a beer drinking contest. And watch out for those zombies. Superhero Olympics is not affiliated with Marvel, its universe, or The Walking Dead, season’s 1 thru 5.
Episode 10: “Lego my Leg, Bro” – Sponsored by The Grand Quell Resort
You’ve heard of the popular vacation destinations of Underground Pluto and the famous Winds of Wallawalla but now just light seconds away you can find a more enjoyable, more affordable escape on the lush shores of Quell. Newly completed, the Grand Quell Resort, is a top of the line resort featuring spacious rooms, pristine beaches, fantastic views and marvelous restaurants. Whether you’re into an active aqua nightlife and frenetic social swim scene or prefer a quieter, more laid back floating retreat, we can accommodate you at the Grand Quell Resort. Try one of the many seafood restaurants nearby or enjoy our ten star dining experience in the main conservatory with our very own master chef, the one and only Lucious. Take advantage of the on site observatory, the water dance clubs or the specially designed golf links. There is something for everyone here at The Grand Quell. With the Quell Olympics being held just a short distance away, rooms are booking fast. Make your reservation soon. We cannot wait to see you at The Grand Quell when we will be thrilled to serve you at The Grand Quell.
Episode 11: “Who’s On Furz?” – Sponsored by Becket Industries
Buy Becket Industries
Episode 12: “Prospiracies” – Sponsored by Jurassic Rodeo
Yes, we all know that man and dinosaur did not inhabit the earth at the same time. But we say why let a 65 million year gap stop us any more? Debuting next week on Benefactor’s Reality Television Channel: “Jurassic Rodeo”. That’s right, tired of the same old bronc riding and cattle roping at a regular run of the mill rodeo? Well then we think you’re gonna love watching our brave (or are they crazy?) cowboys trying to ride a wild Tyrannosaurus Rex just above their tiny little arms or lasso-ing a speeding Velociraptor while avoiding their talons of death! You’ve never seen a roundup quite like this! So tune in to watch, or apply to be a contestant if you’ve got the guts! “Jurassic Rodeo” – broadcasting live every Thursday at least until someone dies in the saddle – don’t miss it! (faster fine print) All participants must sign a waiver releasing BRTC from any and all liability for injury or loss of cowboy hats. “Jurassic Rodeo! Yee Haw!
Episode 13 “The Lifeboat” – Sponsored by Beckett Industries: This Could Be Your Life!
Calling all gamers and especially those wondering what their future life could be. “This Could Be Your Life!” is the number one rated game show in our dimension and we are coming to a city or transportal near you. We are recruiting players for this exciting game where you can visualize your future careers, your future spouse, future hobbies and future lifestyles. Try out your options before you actually live them out! We are looking for viable contestants and you could be one of our players. Are you up for the challenge? Sign up online at the Space Croutons website link or go to the Space Book page for “This Could Be Your Life!” A random drawing will be selected from all entries to give try out opportunities to the lucky winners. This program comes to you courtesy of Beckett Industries, Entertainment Division. Beckett Industries, striving to serve all of your time travel needs. We look forward to serving you. Happy time travels.
Episode 14: “The Hiker” – Sponsored by The Space Croutons Glee Club
A van arrived just the other day We started our journey and along the way There were croutons to find, and stories to play SALI was the glue and I have to say Portals were found, they were all around We got to travel through time, and We even made this song rhyme
With a two headed quarter, and an eerie mood ring The planet of Poi, where you must sing Space Crouton’s podcast will improve your wit This is your chance, don’t blow it It will change your life, as you know it
The show turned five and we’re here to stay So many fun stories and songs to play Mysteries to solve and worlds to save Villains to catch and monsters to slay And as we sing this song, we have to grin Cause Curdy doesn’t know, about his twin But it will give his story, a real spin
Episode 15: Murder on the Oreo Express Part 1 – Sponsored by “Space Croutons Theme Song Mashup”
Enjoy this mashup of theme songs from previous seasons
Episode 17: Play It Again, Jessup – Sponsored by the gameshow “Brick-tion-ary!”
When is a wall not just a wall? When is a statue more than a statue? When is home DIY finally worth it? When you and your team can win big cash prizes, of course! Watch our new game show where your childhood obsession with building blocks can make you a champion! Everyone wants to play “Brick-tion-ary!” The game where two teams of four try to outbuild each other to give their teammates visual clues to help them guess the secret answer on their screen! Can they build an ostrich? Yes! Can they build a cookie? Yes! Can they build the international space station? No! The time ran out! “Brick-tion-ary! The latest and greatest game show yet from the minds of BTN – the Benefactor Television Network!
Episode 18: Nightmare on Curdy Street – Sponsored by Descriptionary Tech Industries “Recitator 2.0”
We’ve always had His stories and Her stories and our stories and their stories, but now thanks to the folks at Descriptionary Tech Industries you can have the greatest stories ever told! How? By using our new product, the Recitator 2.0 to project your tales holographically for all to see! Nothing can make Uncle Norm’s yarn about accidentally pulling out Junior’s tooth using a chain saw more vivid and believable than the Recitator 2.0! And no one will fall asleep when Aunt Edwina insists on recounting her childhood memory about that one depression era Christmas when all she got under the tree was a set of used laces and a dented can of hominy corn, because everyone will see it right before their eyes! The new Recitator 2.0 from Descriptionary Tech Industries! Finally a way for your old family tales to make us some money!
Episode 19: Jess in Time to Save the Day – Sponsored by “High C Vocal Chord Tonic” at Amuse Bouche Laboratories
Through all the ups and downs on the rollercoaster of life, we are bound to get thirsty. And we all know how difficult it is to scream on the way down when we’re dehydrated! That’s why our scientists at Amuse Bouche Laboratories developed High C Vocal Chord Tonic, the only vocal chord tonic we’ll ever convince you to buy! And why? Because it’s the only vocal chord tonic we sell! So spend your hard earned dollars on High C Vocal Chord Tonic to avoid Life’s Larengitus and to make us richer! High C Vocal Chord Tonic! You’ve got to have it, whether you need it or not! High C Vocal Chord Tonic has been used and recommended by many great artists including Barry Gibb, Mariah Carey, Frankie Valle, Celine Dion, Tiny Tim and Prince. Amuse Bouche – the first lab to staff uncertified scientists – because they deserve a place to do science too!
Episode 20: This Could be your Life – Sponsored by “Nicest Names” and the Creative Cookies Group
Here on the planet of Proxima Centauri C, everyone alliterates their names. If you are fretting about finding the most appropriate alliteration for your precious progeny just check out our Nicest Names website by the Creative Cookies group. For the low one time usage fee of 55 microcredits, you and your beloved bestie can super select the nicest names for your bouncing baby. Here is just a small sample of the nicest names you are likely to cast your elegant eyes upon. Choose from Energetic Elowen, Rushing Rowan, or Thoughtful Thorn, or you might like Bashful Braewen, Burly Braxley, or Foxy Fenella. From Adorable Aisling to Zany Zephyr, you are sure to finally find the perfectly popular nicest name ever at Nicest Names by Creative Cookies Group.
Episode 21: Long Island’s Journey Into Night – Sponsored by “Elementary My dear Watson”
Well hey there folks, Curdy’s Dad here to say a few words about some product or other… Where did I put my notes? Oh yeah, right here under the TV remote… Now, where’d I put my glasses? Oh yeah, they’re right here on the top of my head… okay, now I’m set… go ahead and give me a fanfare maestro… did you play it?… wait, I better put my hearing aids in… there we go, now, back to the script… You say you got a problem? Well we’ve got the solution right here at “Elementary My Dear Watson’s”. No concern is too small, no issue is too big for our state of the art algorithm generating artificial intelligence squad to tackle! Sign up for a free 7 day trial subscription and whatever your problem is, we will solve it in 8 days. Of course then we’ll have to charge you for the next full year, but that’s okay, because it gives you plenty of time to look on our website for instructions to cancel… Yeah, you can look for the cancel instructions, but you won’t find them, ‘cause they ain’t there! “Elementary My dear Watson” The only problem solving AI product guaranteed to become a bigger problem than the one you started with! Now, where did I put my beer?
Episode 22: Erasio – Sponsored by “The Never Ending Story” Amusement Park App
Welcome to the latest in Theme Park entertainment. The only amusement park in existence where there are no lines and No Wait Time. All without the need to leave your home. The first and only Ocular, Auditory, and Kinesthetic experience brought to you by the makers of Recitator 2.0, Trichronic Sansmuter, and the new Narrator A.I. Built around the Narrator, the Never Ending Story amusement park app is the theme park of the future. With new rides continually being added, this unique adventure is a never ending source of entertainment. And I do mean “never ending”. Each ride is designed to bring the rider complete satisfaction and will reset with a different adventure until it does. After all, here at Never Ending Story, our motto is “No Laughter, No After!”.
Never Ending Story is a subsidiary of The “None The Wiser Corporation” and is not responsible for clients who can’t seem to find the way out.
Never Ending Story, The ride for, I mean “of” your life. Available anywhere reality is manipulated.
You may ask, will this ride ever end? Well… will it?
But wait! That’s not all. Be on the look out for the newest member of our product family. Insta-Planet. When you can’t wait for a planet to evolve.
Episode 23: Into the Stew Pot – Sponsored by “Poetry Smoetry” and Beckett Industries Entertainment Division
Greetings to all my fellow poetophiles, you lovers of the spoken word and the written word as well, but especially you lovers of poetry. Does your heart soar when you hear the perfect rhyme whether it comes from the fractured fantasy poetry of Dr. Suess or the merriment of Shel Silverstein? Do you react with goosebumps or shivers of delight when you encounter the words of Robert Frost, Walt Whitman or Emily Dickinson? Maybe your cup of tea runs more along the lines of iambic pentameter, used by such illustrious poets as William Shakespeare and John MIlton. Is a pocket of poems your constant companion or are you just an occasional user of the poetical literature? No matter your interest level or your skill, Beckett Industries, Entertainment Division has just the game for you. It is a fun filled, emotion inducing, rollicking fun way to spend thirty minutes or even an hour of your time. Place your order now for “Poetry Smoetry”. “Poetry Smoetry” is available at any fine to mediocre retailer, or you can order it directly from Beckett Industries, Entertainment Division for just 88 microcredits. Once you experience “Poetry Smoetry” you will want to purchase another to give as a gift to your friends, neighbors and relatives. Hurry! Order now. “Poetry Smoetry” is flying out of the warehouse. Brought to you by Beckett Industries, Entertainment Division striving to serve all of your time travel needs even for entertainment. We look forward to serving you. Happy time travels.
Episode 24: Was the Sun of a Plemmet Man – Sponsored by William Shakespeare’s newest time travel comedy, “All’s Well That Never Ends – Well”
Hey Will! Yea verily forsooth anon, friends of Romans and countrymen, doth thou haveth a question? You betteth we do! We’ve heard you’ve got a new play! Ah yes, the play’s the thing. And so I shall speak the words, trippingly on the tongue! Tis a comedy of time transversal where two gentlemen and a pair of star-crossed young lovers from Sharona find themselves stranded on an island, in a dark and mysterious wood while a power hungry Scottish King and his demented wife battle a young prince who loves danishes but hates his uncle for the right of succession after the previous Emperor was stabbed in the back while in hospital for an Othellogram. It’s my best work in years! Wait a minute, that all sounds very familiar. Are you really Shakespeare? Or are you just an AI writing as Shakespeare?! You minion, are too saucy! Next thou shall label me a monkey with a typewriter! Sorry Billy boy, just asking. No harm, no foul. Me thinks there is something rotten in the state of advertising! Alas, there is no respect anon! And to think, this play was to be my masterpiece! Was it REALLY to be your masterpiece? Or was it NOT to be? That’s it! As staying is such sweet sorrow, I’ll say good riddance, look not for me on the morrow! So is there a play, or…? Right! So everyone out there, go ahead and buy your tickets to “All’s Well That Never Ends – Well!” You’ve never seen a play like this one and you probably never will!
