Episode 1: “Welcome to Thunder Gnome” – Sponsored by You Bet Your Life, Really!
When is a game show, not a game show? That’s easy! It’s when you’re playing for keeps! That’s right everyone, introducing the new quiz show taking the world by storm – like a blizzard – or a hurricane! It’s the show where your life’s on the line! And what do we call it? Oh sorry, you missed it! We call our show, “You Bet Your Life, Really!” and that’s just what you’ll do! And the rules are simple. You answer life’s toughest questions! And you get how many tries? Oh sorry, you missed again! The answer is three! One more miss and you know what happens? Oh sorry, you lose! Join us each week as our unsuspecting contestants play for real, “You Bet Your Life, Really!” – A Benefactor’s Reality Television Production.
Episode 2: “The Jersey Devil” – Sponsored by Ms. Rat Band
Trapped in a maze? Not sure which turn to take. Does this strike a note? Then Ms Rat Band is the game show for you. Race against other contestants, race against time, race against that insatiable need for food or to escape your imprisonment. Whatever the reason, Ms Rat Band will fill that void. Just like a full measure rest between two forte measures of cymbal crashes and orchestrational swells, Ms Rat Band is full of moments when you don’t know which way to turn, or what is next. Ms Rat Band, simply enter the maze and pick up instruments on your way to the center stage and your musical debut. Critics and would-be fans alike, wait on your arrival in hopes of a concert unmatched since Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour. Travel the maze of the music industry with the promise of stardom waiting for you. Ms Rat Band, the first game show (besides American Idol, America’s Got Talent, and the Voice) where the winner gets the show biz contract of a lifetime. MRB, look for us coming to a labyrinth near you.
Episode 3: “The Diner Cornucopious” – Sponsored by Are You Smarter Than Your Clone?!
When is a Game show not just a Game show? When it’s a Reality show, of course! And when is a Reality show not just a Reality show? When it’s a Game show, of course! And thanks to BTN, that’s the Benefactor’s Television Network, we are bringing you the best of both! Premiering next week, our new competition series: “Are You Smarter Than Your Clone?!” That’s right, we clone you to create a panel of five yous that you then compete against to prove you are the smartest, to win life changing cash and prizes! We’ll pay off your house and car. We’ll give you a big raise at your job, arrange a divorce if needed and sign you up to our exclusive dating app filled with billionaires only! And if you lose to one of your clones? Well, we put you out to pasture and they get to take over your life which with them being smarter will make things better for everyone! So, join us starting next week for the game show where you play against the perfect opponents – you! “Are You Smarter Than Your Clone?!” Thanks BTN, you’ve done it again!
Episode 4: “The Jersey Devil Pt2” – Sponsored by Don’t Break the Ice
Welcome to the Wild World of Sports’ presentation of “Don’t Break the Ice”. The only show filmed on, and sometimes under, the frozen top layer of Lake Minnetonka in Hennepin county, Minnesota. 113 feet deep and yes, quite cold, Lake Minnetonka serves as our playing field for this winter’s new breakout game show, Don’t Break the Ice. You would think the top layer of ice on Lake Minnetonka would be thick enough to cross in the middle of winter, but for the sake of the show, you will race a Zamboni across the ice. And when I say race, I mean it will be chasing you. After all, what is the worst that can happen? Apply now. We have openings for runners and Zamboni drivers. “Don’t Break the Ice”. Look for it on a station near you.
Episode 5: “Old Carols, New Tricks” – Sponsored by The Lite Brite Great American Holiday Lite on!
Announcing “The Lite Brite Great American Holiday Lite On!”, where contestants compete to see who can decorate their quarter acre lot with the most creative light designs. But for our competition, you use only Lite Brite pegs. And not just any Lite Brite pegs, but the 6 feet tall versions you can only special order from us. ‘6 feet tall’, you say? Absolutely! It will be a forest of tree sized pegs, but trust me, everyone will see them when you flip the switch! Our contestants are scored in several categories. Including…Most pegs used – A no brainer. Overall brightness of the presentation – Of course. Can it be seen from space? Our experts on the International Space Station will measure the brightness. Power consumption – If you aren’t causing a brownout, you aren’t even trying. Originality – Creating your own Lite Brite template could be the hardest part. So many holes. And where do I find the right size and type of tarp to use? You can special order it from us. And… Neighborhood reaction. What do your neighbors think? How many restraining orders have been issued to get you to stop? Lite-Brite Great American Holiday Lite On, the only game show that combines creativity, science, blatant consumerism, and the sheer disregard of others to ever be filmed totally in the dark. Disclaimer: Do you like to compete when it comes to holiday decorations? Have you emptied the local big box home improvement store of every light string on the shelves? Has the local power company had to make trunk upgrades to your power grid? Have the local authorities served you with cease and desist orders? Have your neighbors put blackout curtains on their windows facing your house? Then this is the competition for you. Simply convert your yard into a giant Lite Brite light box and share your creation. …adult supervision combined with a childlike wonder is required.
Beckett Industries is proud to announce our newest product line. Now you can order your familiar and most favorite foods, packed and preserved for you in one of our handy time travel proof picnic baskets. That’s right, with Beckett’s basket you need never go hungry even when far from home. Our deluxe trip basket comes with the foods of your choice all guaranteed to pass through the portals tax free and just as fresh as if you had just made it at home. Through our top secret patented process, your food stays fresh for the duration of your trip and comes with refills as needed. You can order your basket filled for one week, two weeks or as many days as you need. Your time travel experience is so much more enjoyable not to mention convenient if you can eat the foods you prefer. Never get stuck with Quell grub fish again or Mallet stink weed mash when you can bring along your fully customizable Beckett’s Basket with your favorite food choices prepared to your specifications. Prices vary with food selections and the number of days you will be traveling. There is an added service charge for people traveling to the so-called Evil Eye galaxy, but we know you will be thrilled with your selection of Beckett’s Baskets for your next time travel excursion. Beckett Industries, striving to serve all of your time travel needs. We look forward to serving you. Happy time travels.
Episode 7: “Feud DeFamilia” – Sponsored by Mr Microphone
A blast from the past, this is a rebroadcast of the original Mr Microphone commercial as seen on TVs in the US in the 1970s.
Episode 8: “Night of the Grampire” – Sponsored by Drill or No Drill
Looking for a game you can sink your teeth into? – “Drill or No Drill!” How about a quiz that could leave you impacted? “Drill or No Drill!” And what about a lightning round that has losers leaving the studio with a plaque all around their gum line? “Drill or No Drill!” That’s right, the first game show where your dental insurance does not guarantee that you’ll go home with a smile! On Drill or No Drill, contestants take their place in the chair, answering questions like: “What kind of wood were George Washington’s dentures made of? “Umm… Cherrywood?” “Sorry, but you either lose a molar, or get a crown! Which will it be? Drill or No Drill?”
4 out of 5 dentists recommend “Drill or No Drill” to their patients who still have their wisdom teeth. The use of Novocaine, Laughing Gas or just a ball peen hammer to the noggin is optional and at the discretion of some overworked hygienist with masochistic tendencies. “Drill or No Drill” is not publicly sanctioned by the American Dental Association but is a favorite of the National Hockey League. “Drill or No Drill” – a production of the Benefactor Television Network
Episode 9: “The Breaking News” – Sponsored by Hollywood Chers
From Television City in Hollywood, let’s play some Hollywood Chers with Cher Impersonators: Dark Lady, Foxy Lady, and Our Lady of San Francisco. And where else will you find her nom de plumes, Cherilyn Sarkisian, Cheryl LaPiere, and Bonnie Jo Mason. But wait there’s more. Introducing our Movie Chers: Tess, Loretta, and Rusty Dennis. With special appearances by Greg Allman. And I am your host, Sonny. Hollywood Chers is your basic game of Tic Tac Toe, but with a twist. All answers must be in the form of a lyric from one of Cher’s songs, lines from one of her movies, or quotes from her personal life. For 10 points, What did Cher write in her last Christmas card to Greg Allman? No matter how hard I try, you keep pushing me aside. I can’t break through, there is no talking to you… For 20 points, how would Cher fix her mistake? If I could turn back time If I could find a way I’d take back those words that’ve hurt you And you’d stay For 100 points, and the win, Where was Cher born? She was born in the wagon of a traveling show Her mama had to dance for the money they’d throw Grandpa’d do whatever he could Preach a little gospel Sell a couple bottles of Doctor Good Hollywood Chers premiers on Valentines Day, and is streaming anywhere Cher is loved. Hollywood Chers is a production of the Sonny and Cher Communications Network. It is not affiliated with Cher herself.
Episode 9: “The Breaking News” – Sponsored by the 2025 Superhero Olympics
Jason Bateman Communications presents the 2025 Superhero Olympics. Set just outside of Atlanta and frequently using Peachtree Street for event locations, this is the only game show where the contestants compete against Marvel superheroes and their sidekicks while being chased by zombies from the Walking Dead. Hosted by Jason Bateman, contestants compete in events like Red Rover, Hide and Seek, Walk the Plank, Red Belly, I Expect You to Blow up, Submarine, and the ever popular, Don’t Break the Ice. To advance, the contestants must defeat their superhero knowing that at any moment a zombie may appear and the chase begins. If caught by the zombie, an infinity stone is attached to their gauntlet. Once the gauntlet reaches 5 stones, they disappear. For the finale, contestants must survive the Highlander round, where “There can be only one”. So join us as your accountant battles Iron Man in a game of Truth or Dare, then watch as your 7th grade history teacher battles Black Widow in a beer drinking contest. And watch out for those zombies. Superhero Olympics is not affiliated with Marvel, its universe, or The Walking Dead, season’s 1 thru 5.
Episode 10: “Lego my Leg, Bro” – Sponsored by The Grand Quell Resort
You’ve heard of the popular vacation destinations of Underground Pluto and the famous Winds of Wallawalla but now just light seconds away you can find a more enjoyable, more affordable escape on the lush shores of Quell. Newly completed, the Grand Quell Resort, is a top of the line resort featuring spacious rooms, pristine beaches, fantastic views and marvelous restaurants. Whether you’re into an active aqua nightlife and frenetic social swim scene or prefer a quieter, more laid back floating retreat, we can accommodate you at the Grand Quell Resort. Try one of the many seafood restaurants nearby or enjoy our ten star dining experience in the main conservatory with our very own master chef, the one and only Lucious. Take advantage of the on site observatory, the water dance clubs or the specially designed golf links. There is something for everyone here at The Grand Quell. With the Quell Olympics being held just a short distance away, rooms are booking fast. Make your reservation soon. We cannot wait to see you at The Grand Quell when we will be thrilled to serve you at The Grand Quell.
Episode 11: “Who’s On Furz?” – Sponsored by Becket Industries
Buy Becket Industries
Episode 12: “Prospiracies” – Sponsored by Jurassic Rodeo
Yes, we all know that man and dinosaur did not inhabit the earth at the same time. But we say why let a 65 million year gap stop us any more? Debuting next week on Benefactor’s Reality Television Channel: “Jurassic Rodeo”. That’s right, tired of the same old bronc riding and cattle roping at a regular run of the mill rodeo? Well then we think you’re gonna love watching our brave (or are they crazy?) cowboys trying to ride a wild Tyrannosaurus Rex just above their tiny little arms or lasso-ing a speeding Velociraptor while avoiding their talons of death! You’ve never seen a roundup quite like this! So tune in to watch, or apply to be a contestant if you’ve got the guts! “Jurassic Rodeo” – broadcasting live every Thursday at least until someone dies in the saddle – don’t miss it! (faster fine print) All participants must sign a waiver releasing BRTC from any and all liability for injury or loss of cowboy hats. “Jurassic Rodeo! Yee Haw!
