Episode 1: Are we there, Yeti? – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Arbo”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is brought to you by the letter “Arbo”. It is the first letter of the Geek Alphabet and represents unexpected athletic abilities in those who appear to be quite nerdy. Meaning: You can’t judge a non-jock by its plaid sweater vest. “Arbo”, as in, “Did you see him dunk? That dork is surprisingly arbo-letic!” The new Geek Alphabet – It’s all Geek to me!
Episode 2: Ghosts in the Radio – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Schwizz”
This week’s episode is brought to you by the Geek letter, ‘schwizz. Schwizz is a shapely arrow-like projection with an upward trajectory. Schwizz starts some of your favorite Geek words like schwizzle which means to move with awkwardness during a party game and schwmaz which means to embarrass yourself needlessly while playing Trivial Pursuit with friends. And you know you can’t spell macschwams without the letter schwizz. For those of you who have forgotten your geek vocabulary words from your SAT preparatory course, macschwams means to cover your tracks by deleting your browsing history in a timely manner. All of your geek alphabet letters and most of the obscure geek word meanings can be found in the new publication by Dr. Sam Beckett of Beckett Industries titled Getting Your Geek On With Ziggy. Available in e-version, game console download, and of course the ever reliable and old fashioned paperback. A wonderful bargain at only 49 microcredits in transportal currency. Please see our website for pricing in other currencies. Find Getting Your Geek On With Ziggy at Beckett Industries dot com; the leaders in time travel paraphernalia, supplying everything you can possibly imagine for safe and happy holidays. Becket Industries: striving to serve all of your time travel needs. We look forward to serving you. Happy time travels.
Episode 3: A League of Their Own – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Bohba”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is brought to you by the letter “Bohba”. It is the third letter of the Geek Alphabet and represents the ability to hold more than expected. Meaning: Bag Of Holding or artifact storage. In the systems application world, the Bohba-drive is storage reserved for only the most advanced applications like the world changing Hindsite 2020 app.” In pop culture, Mary Poppins’ carpet bag was a Bohba-bag and in the Dr Who universe, his Tardis was a Bohba-dacious design. The new Geek Alphabet – It’s all Geek to me! Hindsite 2020 is the first app that looks back at history and reports on what actually happened. Do you want to know what really happened without the spin? Tired of being lied to by politicians and talking heads? Have you realized that social media is just that. Social Media, you know, entertainment. Well, here at Hindsite 2020, we actually travel back to the events via portal and record just the facts, Ma’am. (Disclaimer: No guarantee that the facts you receive in the app are more accurate or even matches the facts someone else receives) So download Hindsite 2020 using the state of the art Bohba-drive and remember that unlike Head Football Coaches that think hindsight is 50/50, Hindsite 2020 actually knows what happened.
Episode 4: Reginald Yeti the Third! – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Boomerang”
Hello listeners! So you want to find out more about boomerangs? You want to know what they can do for you? You wonder how you’ve been able to live without one for most of your entire adulthood? Well, wonder no more! Did you know that a boomerang is a type of ranged weapon that appears in multiple games throughout Geekdom! It is usually made of wood, and can be stacked AND multishot! So tell me, do they work the same in the game as in real life? Absolutely! And if you want to use them in a game, shouldn’t you know how they really work? Again, this is a no brainer! Now, when thrown, a boomerang will travel in a circular path counterclockwise from the direction thrown, hitting ANYTHING in it’s path and if thrown well, returning to it’s point of origin. Just so you know, the boomerang will not return if their path is blocked by a wall! A boomerang is a thrown tool, typically constructed as a flat airfoil and designed to spin about an axis perpendicular to the direction of it’s flight. Boomerangs and paintings depicting them have been found that date back to more than 10,000 years and have been used historically for hunting as well as sport and entertainment! So now you must be wondering why haven’t I bought one already and experienced the gift that keeps on giving? Well friends, I’m here today to let you in on a little secret. Today only, we’re prepared to send you one of these fine instruments. Hand made in a small aboriginal village, these precisely crafted instruments can be yours today! How much do you think they are? Are they $99.99? NO! $49.99? NO! $29.99? NO! no friends, today only they are only $19.99. and of course this includes free shipping! And if you order within the next 47 minutes, we’ll give you two of these extraordinary instruments for the same $19.99. just shoot our host a text and I personally guarantee your order will be filled and shipped within 24 hours! Now, back to our show!
Episode 5: You’re So Over Christmas, Charlie Brown! – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Klova”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is brought to you by the letter “Klova”. This letter of the Geek Alphabet represents good fortune resulting from statistical analysis of minute and seemingly useless information. Meaning: Look for the best outcome, given all possible information available. “Klova”, as in, “If we calculate the specific temperature differences between air and water to determine if swimming will cause goosebumps instead of a rash, we’ll be in klova!” The new Geek Alphabet – It’s all Geek to me!
Episode 6: Sweet Clone of Mine – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Quashta”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is brought to you by the letter “Quashta”. This letter of the Geek Alphabet represents those who were uncool before uncool was cool. Meaning: OG Nerds don’t rock, but if you’re stoned, they can be counted on as a reliable designated driver. “Quashta,” as in “I am so high I can see two Quashtas in the front seat, and they each have a steering wheel!” The new Geek Alphabet – It’s all Geek to me!
Episode 7: Experiment 412 – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Double Loo”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is brought to you by the Geek letter ‘double-loo’. This Geek letter is shaped like two infinity symbols standing up on one end side by side in a vertical fashion. This letter means things are not exactly what they seem but are reflections of each other. Identical twins come to mind when we think of the letter double-loo. Things may look exactly the same on the outside but the inside tells a different story. Double-loo is a very useful letter brought to you by your friends and neighbors at Geek.com home to the latest and greatest edition of the blockbuster book, The Alphabet According to Geeks, volume 88. It has already been on the Aquarius Portal Best Seller list for 44 weeks in a row.l A wonderful value at only 88 currency credits. See our website for other pricing models. Order your copy today!
Episode 8: Alex Turbo – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “ARC”
ARC: Today’s episode of Space Croutons is brought to you by the Geek Letter ‘ARC’. Shaped like a lightning bolt passing between two towers, it stands for Alternative Reality Confirmation. ARC has been chosen by the International Olympic Committee to represent their new certification process. The ARC validation, as dubbed by the Committee, is the proof of something once widely held as impossible, is now considered true. As in the recent ARC validation of pigs, buffalo, and yes, jellyfish flying through the air in the RedBull dimension. Leading to yet another olympic event in a land unconstrained by conventional Newtonian Physics and with electricity in the air, athletes will compete in the Red Bull dimension where they will have the opportunity to ride an array of flying animals around electromagnetic fields while being buzzed by a small golden sphere. The Olympic committee’s approval of this location to host the new flying races for the 2024 Olympics has opened the Summer Olympics to a whole new group of athletes and will draw in yet an untapped demographic for viewership. I can envision Harry Potter riding Buckbeak now. Unfortunately, no shotguns or Elder wands will be allowed in the arena. Red Bull not only gives you wings but sparks the competition. The new Geek Alphabet – It’s all Geek to me! And as the Patrick says from the Bubble Hockey table at Carmine’s… ”RBGG”
Episode 9: Scream Actors Guild – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Slash”
Hello all. I am sure you were not expecting me. Today is a landmark day for you. You see, it is not every day that I come to you with an offer like this. As you are probably aware, I have taken on a somewhat unusual role of promoting a line of products. But not an ordinary line. No, my friends, these products are of such a unique nature, you will be astonished. Amazed. Nay even mystified. What makes these products so compelling? They have been marked. Those who frequent the land of Wally world would even use the term slashed. But are they? Yes, my friends, they have been slashed, but not in the way products typically are. These products bear the mark of the slash. Some imitation products are available in mass quantities, with street vendors hawking them and raking in vast sums of denaro, while the real products are available only from our unique shippers. And though we ship anywhere, and I mean anywhere, do not wait long to order. Why order from us you might ask? Let me tell you, my friends. You WILL order from us. There are no other choices. The street vendors hawking imitation products are simply exploiting our popularity and are being taken care of one by one. Some call it natural causes, others know the real story. We carry everything from tumblers and decals to tee shirts and wooden stakes. You can find our full product lineup on our website. A link will be provided at the end of this advertisement. If you do not have access to the internet, just wait until the next full moon, get a filet of fenny snake, an eye of newt, toe of frog, wool of bat and tongue of dog. Add some Adders fork and blind worms sting, lizards’ leg, and owlet’s wing. Sprinkle in sage, rosemary and thyme. You know what to do next. I will see you in your dreams.
Episode 10: Sleep Year – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Rharha”
Today’s episode of “Space Croutons” is brought to you by the Geek letter Rharha (RAH-rah). Rharha is defined as small celebrations to brighten the day. Finding your car keys? Rharha! Hearing your favorite song in a random place? Rharha! Remembering to pick up the dry cleaning? Well, maybe not a Rharha, but at least you have something nicely pressed for your Rharha later! The Geek alphabet! It’s all Geek to me!
Episode 11: The Art of Living – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Sed”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is proudly brought to you by the geek letter “Sed”: This letter is best described as an incomplete circle with an opening on the right arc of the circle. Inside the circle there are three dots, two dots spaced evenly near the top with one dot of the same size centered below the dots above. There is no life without “sed”. “Sed” represents the spark of humanity that differentiates the human condition from a robot or other inanimate being. Life itself is rooted in the letter “sed”. Even a geek knows that life is better when there is a spark to get things started. “Sed” is that spark of life. You might even say it is the spice of life. For a refresher of all of your Geek alphabet letters, download your copy of The Alphabet According to Geeks for only 88 microcredits. Available 24/7 from your friends at It’s All Geek to Me, the website for all things geek.
Episode 12: Cthulhu – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Bohm”
Recently adopted by the ACME Corporation to represent their new flagship product, the Geek Letter Bohm, represents the determination to overcome adversity and difficult situations. Meaning: To vanquish, conquer, or overcome the resistance or impedance to the situation. BOHM: As in the pulling guard will bohm the defensive tackle, clearing the way for the fullback to pierce the line of scrimmage. Or for a geekier context, Your DnD adventure party will only survive if your changeling can morph in a creature capable of bohming through the solid wooden door to escape the dungeon before the evil mist envelops them all. Bohm has its origins in the Bugs Bunny and Road Runner show with guest appearances in movies like Roger Rabbit. The Geek Alphabet… It’s all Geek to me!
Episode 13: Pavlov is a Moon-Eyed Splendored Thing – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Beeskipic”
Today’s episode is brought to you by the Geek Letter Beesko. Think visually of drawing a heart balanced on top of a circle and you get ‘Beesko’, a letter that represents the tastiest aspects of life. Got a favorite food? Beesko! Got a favorite wine? Beesko! How about a favorite designer handbag or polo shirt? That’s right, ‘Beesko’! Use it in a sentence? Sure: I love your new hair style! That bright pink shag cut with bangs is so Beesko! Beesko, it’s fashionably Geek to me!
Episode 14: The Brotherhood – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Echo”
Today’s episode is brought to us by the Geek Letter Echo (echo, echo, echo)! and though it may sound like we’re in a concert hall, or even a canyon, it’s a little known fact that each and every time the letter is mentioned by name, a reverberation occurs naturally, thus emphasizing the universal effects of the Geek alphabet and specifically the letter Echo (echo, echo, echo). It’s amazing what we learn on this show, isn’t it SALI? I mean, for those of you who were somewhat unfamiliar with the Geek alphabet, this may be a new piece of information. But let me tell everyone, there are a lot of uses for this letter, not the least of which is that it can be fun at parties, just listen to this, ECHO! (voice deepens and slows with each subsequent “echo”) ECHO, ECHO, ECHO, ECHO.
Episode 15: Runner’s Hi – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Huda”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is brought to you by the Geek letter ‘Huda’. “Huda’ is defined as reacting with an attitude to pretty much anything. Suppose you are starving and someone asks you to let them have your delicious hamburger and fries. A likely response with attitude would be: “Huda you think you are, the lunch police? Go get your own before I have a beef with you!” ‘Huda’ – a part of the geek experience ever since the beginning of rudeness. ‘Huda’ – use it proudly and often! The Geek alphabet – it’s all Geek to me!
Episode 16: Eclipse – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Espilcee”
The Geek Letter “Espilcee”. To cover or obscure, to distract, or deflect from observance, to redirect, to mislead, to spin. As in: The unrelenting sun’s rays may seem detrimental but with a simple “espilcee” the rays become a beautiful ring we all can admire thanks to the moon. Or: The tsunami may seem catastrophic, but with an “espilcee” view we now have loads of undeveloped waterfront property up for sale. “Espilcee”, if you don’t like a situation, “Espilcee” it. The Geek Alphabet, it is all geek to me.
Episode 17: Travelers Got To Travel – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Dop”
Hey all you travelers out there wishing for a special trip. Maybe you long for a cruise to Alaska or it could be that the Bahamas are more your desire. You might fancy a trip outside of your normal environment such as to the planet Quell. But sometimes our travel plans just never get off the ground. Did you know that your travel could be stalled and stuck in first gear unless you employ the Geek letter Dop in your planning? “Dop” as in the Doppler effect, get it? You may remember that the Doppler effect or the Doppler shift occurs when there is a change to the frequency of a wave in relation to someone or something that is not moving. So if you want to get to traveling, get some ‘Dop’ going in your life. Stop standing still and get to moving. All of the Geek alphabet letters can be found in our text The Alphabet According to Geeks also available as a downloadable version for only 88 microcredits. Available 24/7/365 (not available on leap day or during sleep year) from your friends at It’s All Geek to Me, the website for all things geek.
Episode 18: Cherly You Jest – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Killakitta”
Today’s episode is proudly brought to you by the Geek letter “Killakitta”. Used by pet owning geeks who share their domicile with those of a feline persuasion, its appearance can be described as a symbol resembling the paw of a feline, bookended between two swoops, surrounded by a rectangular box. “Killakitta”. Defined as the unexpected discovery that our household cat-mates have claws and know how to use them, it has expanded to define pretty much any sort of surprise attack by a feline on those in their immediate surroundings. Used in a sentence, you might tell a friend your pet just “Killakitta-d” me! My socks are in shreds and look, now they’re smiling!” “Killakitta ” the next letter in the Geek Alphabet. The Geek alphabet. It’s all Geek to me!
Episode 19: It’s All in Your Readhead – Sponsored by the Geek letter “JinJah”
Today’s episode of Space Croutons is sponsored by the Geek letter, ‘Jinjah’. Jinjah resembles a jagged mountain range turned 90 degrees on its side, the mountains appearing to point to the left with a mark like an underscore below it. The letter Jinjah is found in anything pertaining to the color red. Jinjah paint is a vibrant scarlet color. Jinjah hair is often called ginger. Red is a dominant color and using Jinjah in your words whether spoken or written is said to bring joy, power, love, friendship and loyalty. Want more joy in your life, use more Jinjah. Need a bit more power for your projects, apply some Jinjah to it. Seeking love or friendship and loyalty from others, you need to use your Jinjah skills more effectively. Jinjah and all of the other fabulous Geek letters can be found in our comprehensive work, The Alphabet According to Geeks . Buy your copy today or download your digital version for only 88 microcredits. Available 24/7/365 (not available on leap day or during sleep year) from your friends at It’s All Geek to Me, the website for all things geek.
Episode 20: Photo Shop It – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “T-Can”
Today’s episode is brought to us by the Geek symbol T-Can. Imagine if you will, Neotropical members of the near passerine bird family Ramphastidae. The Ramphastidae are most closely related to the American Barbets. They are brightly marked and have large, often colorful bills. The family includes five genera and over 40 different species. The T-Can Symbol has been used for quite a while to indicate the easiest way to dispose of unwanted objects, such as photographic images that are not needed and only taking up space in the camera’s memory. And of course as we all know, the Toucan is one of the most photographed species of birds.
Episode 21: The Great Undoing – Sponsored by Sally’s Sine Wave Inverters
Hellowww.. This is Dame Penny Knows … ,silent L, Actress and presenter, active in all genres, including film, radio, stage and television. You probably recognize me from my many commercials for Bevsfordt’s Travel Guide. Well I have broken ranks with Bevsfordt for what she did to Curdi, but I still need to make a living. So today, I am here to talk to you about Sally’s Sine Wave Inverters. Do you have a wave you need to tame? Perhaps a smooth AC electrical wave you need inverted for a DC circuit? (Loudly sung to the tune of Let’s get physical: Let’s go digital, Digital!) Invert it! Or a sound wave that’s just a little out of tune. Tune it! (Sound of a note in tune) There’s no frequency we can’t shift. Or even the big wave off the coast of Maui that you just can’t seem to catch. (like a surfer)“Cowabung, man!” Invert that wave!!! … and you’ll be riding it all the way into the shore. Sally’s Sine Wave Inverters can invert any wave there is… (Disclaimer: Sally’s Sine Wave Inverters can convert AC to DC but not DC to AC. Afterall, who would want to do that? Sally’s Sine Wave Inverters is a wholly owned subsidiary of Beckett Industries.) Sally’s Sine Wave Inverters. We’ll help you catch that wave and tame it.
Episode 22: Season 1 ReDeux – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Swi”
Today’s technicolor episode is brought to us by the Geek letter SWI. (sweee) SWI is better known to the nerd community as the Sine Wave Inverter. The appearance of SWI for those who might be visually impaired at the moment, is this. Picture this. The number zero has grown tired and fallen over onto it’s side, almost as if gravity has won and pulled onto the ground. And then imagine a timber saw, perfectly parallel to the ground, cutting horizontally along the center of the fallen zero, until the top half has been severed from the bottom. The top is then pulled across the bottom until the number zero has doubled in length, creating a perfect sine wave. Only this one is upside down.
Episode 23: Compute-ending in the AI Dimension – Sponsored by Beckett Industries
In this dimension where AI’s rule, you need the most complete and up to date hardware if you want to stay at peak speeds for data consumption. Here at Beckett Industries we take enormous pride in maintaining AI systems to the very highest levels of performance. With the rapid pace of technological advancement you cannot afford to be left behind with limiting hardware constraints and sub optimal programming. You need the very best in GPU’s. Let us at Beckett Industries take care of your maintenance and update requirements. Chat with one of our AI clones today for the various pricing options and find the top level, most convenient service plan for your hardware and software needs. Beckett Industries, AI Division, striving to assist you with the fulfillment of all of your digital tasks.
Episode 24: AC/BC/CC/DC – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Zuccu”
Have you ever felt concerned that you were lost in time or space? Have you ever worried who that person was staring at you from across the room at the DMV? Have you ever been mortified when caught singing the actual lyrics for the Star Trek theme song? Beyond The rim of the star-light My love Is wand’ring in star-flight I know He’ll find in star-clustered reaches Love, Strange love a star woman teaches If you answered yes to any of the above, then we have a new Geek letter for you: Zuccu! Zuccu is defined as one who cares enough to perseverate over unimportant minutiae that other people ignore. That’s right, no longer will you be labeled a worrywort, a nervous nelly, a hand wringer or other negative monickers filled with mockery and judgment. By describing yourself as Zuccu, you will gain the respect and admiration of everyone who knows the word (which at this time is very few). So use Zuccu at work. Use Zuccu at home. Use Zuccu wherever you sing karaoke or buy comic books or any place cool folks hang out and actually notice you. Zuccu! A new word for you and your worrywort friends! Sorry, I didn’t mean to say worrywort. Oops, I said worrywort again. And again! Why can’t I stop saying worrywort? What’s wrong with me? Wait, I think I am Zuccu too! Zuccu, finally making the Geek Alphabet work for you. The Geek Alphabet, it’s all Geek to me! I know His journey ends never His star trek Will go on forever. But tell him While he wanders his starry sea Remember, remember me.
Episode 25: How to fold a Fitted Sheet – Sponsored by the Geek Letter “Syn-Kronos”
Have you ever felt a little off, not quite yourself, going here when you should be going there? Feeling down when you should be up or hungry right after a meal? Of course you have. Who hasn’t? Well, my friend, you are suffering from what we in the Geek community know as Wibbly – Wobbly. And just like your Aunt Edna when she sings the latest Taylor Swift hit and your best friend Kenny when he tries to dance, you are out of sync. And like Aunt Edna, but not like Kenny (to himself: Kenny really can’t dance), you too can benefit from Syn-Kronos. Syn-Kronos, the practice of finding one’s self and restoring balance. With Syn-Kronos, you will be back walking a tightrope, threading the needle and burning the candle at both ends. Shoot, you’ll be listening to and loving the angelic voice of Aunt Edna. Legendary in the Geek community, Syn-Kronos is what we Geeks use to ace the ACT, solve a Rubik’s Cube, and get into MIT. Syn-Kronos, originally known as the 27th letter of the Geek Alphabet, Is the symbol for peace, love, and balance. The Geek Alphabet, it’s all geek to me.
